A Man A Plan A Canal Panama

If you write today's date, it is a palindrome! 11022011.

Thanks to the LAT we have a hilarious graphic about this phenomenon, and a professor who studies numerical patterns.

“Apples to Apples 4D” (The audience is pummelled with apples at the end of the movie.)

I don't care for romantic comedy genre nearly as much as Mindy Kaling, but I do have interest in seeing some of her proposed movies:

"Bananagrams 3D”

“Apples to Apples 4D” (The audience is pummelled with apples at the end of the movie.)

“Crest Whitestrips”

“Sharks vs. Volcanoes”

“King Tut vs. King Kong”

“Streptococcus vs. Candidiasis” (Strep Throat vs. Yeast Infection)

Of Course I Take Pictures of My Penis and Send Them to People

I think Anthony Weiner is getting too much press but I laughed at this.

Shmuly and Peanut

Sometimes I peruse the NYT Vows section to look at the names of the newlyweds and imagine where they met, if they will have attractive children, and how many of the couples will eventually divorce.

This week's paper didn't have any goat cheese farmers, but did feature a bride named Peanut Wong and a groom named Shmuly Yanklowitz; unfortunately, these two were not married to each other.

To Shmuly I say Mazel Tov, and to Peanut I say please start a career as a reality star or pop singer in China.

Why you're not married, it's your fault men are angry

Recently, there have been a slew of published books and articles about how men don't know how to be men, and women are too terrible to date.

For example:

• Why You're Not Married
• Dear Single Women of NYC: It's Not Them, It's You.
• Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
• Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys

I think that Manning Up has an interesting thesis; the roles of women in our society have changed dramatically over the past 50 years, and the roles of men haven't explicitly changed accordingly.

Other than that, I think there is a lot of #whitegirlproblems going on here.

Why You're Not Married has an unexpected comment gem, from a man explaining what he looks for in a woman:

"Can I have a woman who likes to keep 'it' clean? I'm talkin about her a** The last woman was 'tart' down there. I expect for a 30-somethi­ng to have her hygiene together, OKAY!"

OKAY!

What's the rudest question you can ask a mother?

Tina Fey, in this NYer piece, suggests that the rudest question you can ask a mother is "How do you juggle it all?" followed by "Are you going to have more kids?"

Not being a mother, I cannot totally relate, but I can suggest my own list of rude questions to ask a woman (in her late 20s):

• Did you used to be a swimmer?
• Why aren't you cohabitating/engaged/married?
• Is it really that hard to find a new job?
• Did you have to rob the grave of some man who died in 1959 to find that watch?

Lewis, fetch me a glass of your finest Merlot

It could happen.

You blew that one, too

NYMag has a brief interview with Bill Maher. I like it almost as much as the look on Zach Galifianakis' face in that picture.

Mean Girls in the White House

Thanks for the find, Jenny. I would like to see a Clueless variation.

We don't even know what 'sex by surprise' even means

Me neither.

Every aspiring comedian should go to Burning Man

Material goldmine.

Trance, Stilts, Throw up Music, Teddy Graham People

Not bad for SNL.

You know that lobster tail is three fingers up the butthole, minimum?

Oh Tracy Morgan.

Real Hip Hop

According to Mike, this costume is "hip hop"

TheCrapser 1:27 pm
(1:27:55 PM): hip hop?

RipbergerMike 1:29 pm
(1:29:00 PM): yeah, thats hip hop

Riddle of the Sphincter

Oh Slate, thanks for the unexpected comic relief.

ORDER STARBUCKS PAY IN MIXTAPES

This is silly

Tranny who looks like a damn catcher's mitt

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

Otterlols

Why is this so funny to me?

Admiral Pancake

From ICHC:

According to Veterinary Pet Insurance, these are the top 10 wackiest cat names from the 485,000 cat names in their database:

1. Purr Diem
2. Bing Clawsby
3. Cleocatra
4. Admiral Pancake
5. Optimus Pants
6. Chairman Meow
7. Boo Manchu
8. Watts in a Name
9. Chenoa Azure Marshmellow-Puff
10. Senor Nachos

Cooking Tony Danza

I may want to see this Joan Rivers documentary. That screenshot is from the trailer, where she shows where she keeps all of her jokes filed on index cards. I wish there were a joke about cooking Tony Danza.